Ending war is a lot like ending conflict with a spouse, which is very different than stopping a bully. In the typical bully situation, the victim needs to stand up to the bully to show he or she isn’t afraid and will do what it takes to stand his or her ground. What this means changes in the … [Read more...]
A Trick to Reduce Anger
We all have moments where we get angry... if we’re sane. Anger is a healthy emotion that’s a gift to protect ourselves and those we love when there’s a threat. The problem is when we forget that emotions need to be guarded by logic. Emotions are wonderful, but when left on their own they can … [Read more...]
A trick to check your sanity
It’s said that cleanliness is next to godliness, but cleanliness is really an indication of your sanity. If you want to add stress to your life, add clutter. If you want to look like you have no self esteem, and who doesn’t, stop showering and cleaning your clothes. In Malcom Gladwell’s book … [Read more...]
God doesn’t care about your dreams
*This post answers a question I was given Let me begin by saying that I hope I’m wrong, but from my experience God doesn’t care about our dreams. Looking at Bible stories, I don’t see Moses dreaming as a kid to be kicked out of the royal palace and leading a very whiney group of people through … [Read more...]
Do people need to go to church?
A common question that’s asked, typically to justify not going to church, is ‘do you really need to go to church?’ When people hear that I’m an ordained pastor related statements get said like (feeling unnecessary guilt person): “I used to go to church all the time... my parents still go... I try … [Read more...]
What to Give at a Wedding
Many people... meaning me... hate being invited to weddings because the gift giving experience can be very stressful. When I was younger I found I would distance myself from anyone who was getting serious in a relationship because I didn’t want to be invited to a wedding and needing to buy a gift. … [Read more...]
Are you a good person?
Lots or people think they’re a good person, but... um... no. They’re pretty lousy. What is a good person? I know people who say: “I’m good to my family and friends, so I’m a good person.” Wow, big accomplishment; you’re good to people you like. And apparently we have two different ideas of good … [Read more...]
Forgive & Forget is Dumb
In my book Emotional Sex: Making Good Relationships Great I teach ‘forgive & protect’ because we need to be finding the lesson in our hurt in order to prevent it from happening again. This past week I was reminded of this. Alyshia and I never shared a bed before we got married... yeah, I was … [Read more...]
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