This lesson is going to give a simple yet effective tool for being nicer. But first I want to share a quick story where this week I got called out on how I can be a nice-oholic – who could’ve guessed I’m not perfect? (You don’t have to answer that). This past Sunday, my church had a guest speaker … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 16: The Different Types of Mean
The other day my oldest said that a boy at school told her that Santa wasn’t real... you know, like a jerk. Why do people try to ruin good things for others? Oh, right. It’s because they want to think they’re the smart one. It’s just like a conspiracy theorist: “Only I know the truth because I’m … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 15: The Different Types of Nice
In the last lesson we looked how being too nice to ourselves is connected to selfishness and vanity, which brings us to an important point: Being a nice-oholic doesn’t mean you’re a good person. It means you have an addiction that needs to be addressed. No matter what kind of nice-oholic you are, … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 10: Finding Healing through Understanding
I was recently listening to some early 2000s Alternative music (aka modern classical music) and Simple Plan’s “Perfect” came on, which is a song to a dad with the main lyrics being: “I’m sorry, I can’t be perfect.” I wonder how the band is now that they’re older and likely have kids of their own. … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 9: Weak Parents
In the last lesson I looked at how we need to be careful not to enable bad behavior. Some of the worst culprits of this are parents. To begin, I should make a distinction between enabling and spoiling. A friend of mine said that when she lived at home as an adult, her dad would make sure her car … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 6: Being Nice can be Confusing
Being nice isn’t always clear cut. It can actually be confusing, and if you start thinking about whether something is nice or not, it’s easy to over think the variables (thereby not being nice to yourself). But let’s consider some options to demonstrate what I mean. The other week I was writing a … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 5: Nice is Worth It
Maybe you’re like me, but I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger, especially back when I was starting as a youth pastor almost 20 years ago. (I just choked hard after realizing how long it’s been.) As a therapist I’m supposed to be a professional at dealing with conflict, but back then I … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 3: 7 tips to be properly nice
So far we’ve looked at how we can be overly nice and how that causes us by default to be mean to someone else, which is normally ourselves and sometimes someone else like a spouse. We also considered how being overly nice can cause collateral damage to others as the nice-oholic is indirectly mean … [Read more...]
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