Picture this: A decent looking statue is in the middle of a studio. The artist isn’t done yet, and while he’s out, another person comes in the room and starts hacking away at the statue, which inevitably ruins it. This analogy represents the feeling of someone chipping away at your soul. Now … [Read more...]
Story: Rudolph’s Son
Everyone knows Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer because he’s the most famous reindeer of all, but the odds are you have never heard of his son, Randall. After the night that made Rudolph famous, he soon married Clarice and started a family. Unlike Rudolph, however, Randall was completely normal, and … [Read more...]
Who am I when I can be so different?
I was recently talking to a musician who said that when he’s performing he comes alive. In the day to day he’s pretty low key, but as soon as he steps on stage this energy bursts out of him. When I asked if this seems normal in the performing world, he paused to think and then said yes with … [Read more...]
Story: Why People Fight
John slammed the car door and yelled, “Fine, I’ll just walk home!” and with that the car sped off while John fumed, “Uggggggggghhhhhhh!!!” A hop, skip, and a jump away was a gentle looking older man sitting at a bench who, ironically, would not be able to hop, skip, or jump because of his age. … [Read more...]
Even Darth Vadar had a Good Side
An easy way to increase anxiety and to make life harder is to assume the worst in people; it’s really effective. I used to be great at this. My role in life was simply to suck up to people in hopes that they might like me because everyone was above me. It was a beautiful way to live... if you … [Read more...]
Men are Becoming Weak
Being a man in our culture can be hard. Yeah, I said it, and I’m not being sarcastic (it’s a rare occasion). I’ll even go further to say that being a straight, white, non-handicapped male has its challenges in our culture because certain people want to hate us. It’s like our gift to the world is … [Read more...]
An Important Question We Should Ask Ourselves
This week during a therapy session I asked an excellent question. It was the kind of question that makes a client glad you’re the therapist. It was the kind of question I should have asked years ago, but somehow missed it because years of dumbness got in the way. It started with the typical … [Read more...]
We Hear What We Feel
As a marriage therapist it’s amazing how some of the biggest fights I hear about start over nothing. What leads to divorce isn’t a particular issue or event. For instance, as bad as an affair is, it doesn’t mean the relationship is over. What causes the end of a relationship is when one or both … [Read more...]
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