From my experience, women tend to be external processors (aka talkers) while guys tend to be internal processors (aka in their head). That’s a fun difference: (woman) “Why don’t you talk more?” (guy) “There’s nothing to talk about.” (woman) “I want you to tell me about your feelings.” (guy) … [Read more...]
How Does a Humble Person Talk?
In the last lesson we considered the idea that being humble sits in the middle between Appearing Cocky and Self Deprecating where Humble is about not always being first or always being last. In this lesson, let’s go a little further. It’s one thing to say we need to be humble, but if we don’t know … [Read more...]
What is Your Social Stamina? (How to Improve Communication Pt9)
When it comes to communication, sometimes we miss the message. When I was 23, I went on the Sponge Bob Square Pants 4-D ride at Canada’s Wonderland – it was a big moment. How does this 40 something year old know the exact year he rode it? I went opening year. To know the opening year, am I that … [Read more...]
The Challenges of Communication (Does God Speak? Pt2) (How to Improve Communication Pt8)
Communication between people is dangerous because there’s so much room for misunderstanding. The very act of communicating is difficult because the meaning of the words can change depending on tone (e.g. sarcasm can be joking or demeaning), volume (e.g. fear can make it softer or louder), and the … [Read more...]
A Key to Improve Communication (How to Improve Communication Pt 6)
One of the most important things to consider when it comes to communication is a four letter f word; any guesses? I’ll give a hint. It ends in an “r.” I bet that confused you. When I talk about the primary emotions, I’ll help people guess the first three, mad, sad, and glad, and then I’ll give … [Read more...]
Attackers and Hiders Pt 2 (How to Improve Communication Pt 5)
Last week we looked at the following scale: Attacker (-10)------Self Controlled (0)------Hider (+10) Each of these three positions has two types. For instance, in the Attacker category there are Direct Attackers and Indirect Attackers. Direct Attackers are like a dog trying to protect an … [Read more...]
Attackers and Hiders (Communication Pt 4)
In this series on communication I’ve mentioned the terms “hider” and “attacker.” Both have huge implications for how we communicate and should be looked at more closely. Here’s what they look like on a scale: Attacker (-10)------Self Controlled (0)------Hider (+10) Self Controlled (the … [Read more...]
Communication: When We Screw Up (Pt 3)
Last week I wrote that men can be oblivious, and I proved that really well with my previous week’s lesson on communication where I wrote about a friend’s situation. From a therapist perspective, I thought it was one of my more practical and helpful lessons. From a personal level… it sucked. I was … [Read more...]
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