Who cares about cuddling? I do. I care. Why? Because I’m constantly getting in trouble for it. No, I’m not obsessed with it... maybe if there was a friendly polar bear, but that’s different. Who wouldn’t want to hug a polar bear... if there wasn’t a risk of having your face bitten off? I remember … [Read more...]
Easter: Jesus Gives Religion the Finger
There is a popular song sung in churches today talking about Jesus dying on the cross that says: “Crucified... You took the fall and thought of me above all.” I would like to correct this statement; when Jesus was dying on the cross I’m pretty sure He was actually thinking: “Ow, ow, ow.” There is … [Read more...]
How can people do such horrible things?
My grandfather was an alcoholic... I’m not bragging. I never knew him because he passed away from liver cancer before I was born... again, I’m not bragging; that would be dumb. The thing is, he was a really good man... for about half of his life. He was originally an old fashioned country boy who … [Read more...]
Porn vs. Cosmo
The following topic will likely get me in a lot of trouble... awesome. For some, I will seem judgemental while to others I won’t seem judgemental enough. Let’s see what happens shall we? Here’s a fun question to ask people: what’s more dangerous, amateur porn or Cosmo (or other fashion … [Read more...]
I met a hot girl… (beautiful vs hot)
This past weekend I was at an event where I met a lot of great people, but one in particular stood out for me; I met Rachelle Wilde, a Playboy Playmate... wow. I’ve met my share of beautiful people, but... wow... just wow. If I may be so bold, pictures of her don’t actually portray how pretty she … [Read more...]
Fighting Nitpickiness (yes, that is a word)
I am getting old. Did any of you see the new Spiderman movie? This is how I know I’m getting old. Spiderman is swinging from building to building, which is cool right? No, no it’s not cool. It’s irresponsible. I’m watching him swing around and all I can think is: who’s going to clean up after … [Read more...]
Spanking is a gift
The other day I heard someone say: “Spanking is a sign that the parent’s brain is underdeveloped,” (written with more eloquence than the person could actually say). My reaction? “I wish you were my kid, so I could hit you right now.” Spanking is bad? Uh, no. Spanking is great. I love spanking... … [Read more...]
Saying I love you
Looking at someone directly in the eye and saying: “I love you” is a bad idea... if you don’t know the person. It tends to scare them. Of course, if your goal is to scare them then this is a great idea. For instance, perhaps you’re in line at the grocery store and the person in front of you has a … [Read more...]
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