I have lots of education, a published book, a successful practice, and yet I can still confidently say that I am an idiot. No, I’m not quoting my wife. She actually says the opposite… most of the time. And when I say I am an idiot I mean it in a good way… yes, there is a good way. I know I have lots of great qualities and this is one of them. Of course, this can be frustrating for me and others, but it’s easier to accept when I remember my favourite saying: There is good in all things. So what’s good about being an idiot?
- I end up with great stories that can be a lot of fun to share with others as you’ll see below.
- I’m continually reminded why I shouldn’t think I’m better than other people.
- This continually pushes me to work on my patience and acceptance with myself.
- This gives me more patience for others when they make mistakes because I know I’m just as capable to do the same mistake or worse.
- I can be easier to like because perfectionism is intimidating whereas people who are comfortable with their imperfections are more approachable and relatable.
- I recently heard a client say he will drop a pen and start swearing at himself for being so stupid. Um, dropping a pen is what normal people do; I go way beyond that. Fortunately, because he respects me I can point out that I’m waaaayyyy dumber than him, so he has nothing to worry about. And when I do this I make sure it doesn’t come across as competitive, which is always a risk.
See how I turned what is often considered a bad thing, being an idiot, and brought out good things about it? That’s what we need to be doing for all of life’s challenges. Finding the good leads to healing. So why do I claim I am an idiot? Here are a couple stories to help with that.
- A few summers ago I replaced some rotten boards on the tree house at my mom’s place. At one point I ended up leaving a hammer on the top of the ladder, climbed down, forgot about it, and moved the ladder… not smart. Guess what fell. I ended up with the claw end of the hammer jamming into the top of my head and then bouncing down my face scratching and cutting my cheek just under my eye. Not a good moment. Fortunately, my face healed and the only scar is covered by my hair.
- After that incident you’d think I’d be more careful with a hammer. Last week, despite a year of doing a lot of construction work, I was pulling a screw with a broken head out of the wall with my hammer. I ended up getting it out… after an incident. The first time I pried on it the claw slipped off the screw and with all my force I rammed the butt end of the hammer into my cheek just below my eye giving me a nice black eye… that looks great when you’re trying to do therapy with clients: (me) “I swear I wasn’t in a fight. I’m not violent; I’m an idiot.” Is this a kind of incident a fluke? Let me quote my construction boss who recently said in an unrelated situation: “You’ve worked with me how long and you still do these stupid things?” Was he wrong? No, I keep making stupid choices that I realize as soon as I do them and/or hurt myself. Fortunately, he’s a patient man, and we get along really well even though I almost ran him over with a floor grinder not too long ago… he’s a very patient man.
- My wife was saying she wanted a flatter stomach and pointed to a particular spot. Every semi smart guy knows you just say “Huhn;” you don’t want to agree or disagree because it can lead to a fight. What did I do? I tried to be funny… wrong move. I said, “But I think it’s cute; it’s like a kangaroo pouch.” Yeah, I said that. Despite my years of working with people to help them be better in social situations I said that brilliant line. Fortunately, my wife has learned that I can be an idiot and has been working on her patience with me so she gave me a mulligan… she has to give a lot of these to me, but on the plus side I’ve helped her be more patient too… at least that’s what I tell her.
This week may you start to be nicer to yourself because there’s good in all things even being an idiot.
Rev Chad David, www.ChadDavid.ca, learning to love dumb people