Sometimes we are drawn to things that are bad for us…
Two years ago I had an unusual reaction to what I was told. When the ultrasound technician said to me: “You need surgery right away,” my response was: “That’s awesome!” That’s not the normal response to being told you need surgery because it’s surgery and not ice cream. On top of this, my fist pumping action didn’t help the normalcy of my response. Not only should I not be so excited I’m thrusting my hand in fits of joy, but the fist pump is a clear sign I’m out of touch with what’s cool. On the positive side, at least I didn’t say: “Raise the roof!” and start lifting my hands in the air like I’m lifting an imaginary roof. I was never cool enough to pull that off… no one was. The technician’s response to me, on the other hand, was normal: “There’s something wrong with you,” because clearly there was… I needed surgery. When the technician said this, part of me was excited because I was wearing clean underwear. This isn’t an unusual clothing choice for me, but normally when something bad happens it’s the one day you’re not prepared to see a doctor, but I was. All those times my mom told me to wear clean underwear because you never know finally happened and I was ready. My mom would be proud… she’s apparently easy to please; wear clean underwear and leave the house tidy in case there’s a burglar… I never understood that one. Hopefully that one won’t happen.
Looking back, I’m not sure why I was so excited. It’s not like I won a prize. I didn’t win money or get called to be a contestant on the Price is Right. I think I was excited because I don’t have any cool scars and I thought this would remedy that problem… yeah, in hindsight it sounds pretty dumb to me too. Of course, being cheap, part of me was excited because being Canadian surgery is free, which means it’s a cheaper event than mini golf or shopping at the Dollar Store. Bonus!
At the ER I was greeted by a nurse or what looked like the remains of a living soul working as a nurse. She was this fermenting curmudgeon who sat there with her double frown. A double frown is when your mouth is frowning like your double chin, which sags like an elderly bulldog. Based on her appearance, I figured this woman’s job is where Walmart greeters go to die. When she called me to her booth, she growled: “Why are you here?” My response? Not what she expected. With a big smile I cheerfully said: “I need surgery!” which I said with the kind of enthusiasm usually reserved for when a child says: “It’s my birthday,” but I was saying I need you to cut me open and remove a body part. For a moment, Miss Crusty’s double frown changed. I broke the wall. Instead of a frown, she became surly. I’m not sure if that’s an improvement, but it caused her to shake her head the way a disappointed wife would. This made me giggle because her chin – her dangly, second chin – did this flapping motion like a wet dog shaking its long belly hair dry. It was something special to see. After shaking her head and while the sag under her chin continued to sway back and forth as it tried to regain stability, she said: “There’s something wrong with you.” This was weird because if a guy needs surgery clearly there’s something wrong with him. Thanks Captain Obvious… there’s another 90s reference for you.
This story is a strong example that sometimes we’re drawn to things that are actually bad for us. I was excited about surgery because I was excited at the prospect of a cool scar, a cheap activity and napping guilt free. None of which are a good reason to want surgery. Thus, wise people will double check why they want something because sometimes it’s bad for them. The second thing wise people do is say no. Addictions exist because of one of these two reasons: we don’t realize it’s an unhealthy desire or we don’t say no. Many times when we think of addictions we think of the more obvious like alcohol and gambling; however, we can also have addictions to things that are often considered typical behaviors, but are actually very unhealthy like yelling at our partner or thinking the worst of ourselves. Both are bad addictions that are very damaging, and typically they are a result of the first reason: we don’t know they’re bad… of course, now you do; yelling and beating yourself up are both bad, so stop them… that’s really a lot easier said than done. In cases where we know it’s wrong, the simple answer is we need to say no. The problem is actually saying no. I don’t have time to get into this right now, but the good news is the more we say no, the easier it becomes. Plus, the more we say no to one thing the more we can say yes to something else. For instance, I know someone who was able to learn how to play the guitar because he was saying no to his video game addiction and yes to practicing guitar. The latter was actually a major reason he was able to overcome his addiction; he said no to one thing and yes to another. Booyah… sorry I had to throw another 90s reference in there.
This week may you start to recognize when you should be saying no and when you should be saying yes, and may you have the wisdom and strength to follow through with this.
Rev Chad David, ChadDavid.ca, EmotionalSex.ca