A Hat is Not a Tuque

I have a request for the so-called men out there who do this – I’m aware that these are the men least likely to read this article… they’re also the least likely to be able to read… but guys, pleasssse, stop wearing your baseball hat like a tuque… because, well, it’s not a tuque; it’s a hat.   Thus, the tips of your ears should not be under the rim of your hat.  A hat is meant to block the sun, act as part of a disguise for famous people who don’t want to be recognized (a tip to the royal family, especially if you’re sun bathing topless… although I doubt topless pictures of the Queen Mother would be in such demand), or sometimes it acts as a makeshift toupee for those going bald (my sympathies to such men).   A tuque was designed to keep you warm, thus, it makes sense to wear it over your ears.  If you’re wearing a hat to be warm… wear a tuque.  Since I’m seeing guys wear their hats over their ears in the summer this can’t be the case, which leads me to wonder:  why are they afraid of showing their ears? Are they embarrassed because they’re pointed like Spock’s or an elf’s?  If this is the case, that’s kind of cool.  Perhaps these guys are trying to show they have small heads… I’m not sure why they’d want to do this.  If you’re small on top, what hope do you have for anything different below?  Perhaps these guys are hopeful their brains will grow:  “I need growing room.”  Talk about dreamers; their brains likely stopped growing when they discovered the f word can be a noun, adjective, verb, adverb, acronym and other things they don’t really understand.  Is it possible that these guys are – how do you say this politically correct? – Stupid? – I’m not good at being PC.  When I was young my friends and I would wear a baseball hat over our ears and say “I’m so stupid, I don’t even know how to wear a hat hardy har har.” – the hardy har har was to add to how dumb we were being.  Maybe these guys saw kids wearing their hats like this and thought: “Hey, that must be the new fashion; I should wear my hat like that hardy har har (the latter said because they’re stupid).”  This would, therefore, confirm this person really is stupid, and could use a gay friend to help him know what’s in fashion.  If the person is simply trying to hide their ears because they’re self conscious of the floppiness – maybe they’re part Prince Charles – I’m sure they’re ears aren’t that bad, and if they are, that’s just funny; they’ll make someone laugh with their cocker spaniel lobes waving around, so they should be proud of their Dumbo like state.  Heal the world make it a better place; let us laugh at you instead of judge you.  It’s the nice thing to do; for me and for you and the entire human race… I swear I’m not a horrible person.

This rant leads to why we have rules and norms.  These are important because they give us a foundation for how we should live.  Rules and norms are made for a reason, and we should follow them when it’s wise.  They create order, and keep things flowing in society.  They help reduce decisions thereby reducing stress and freeing our brains for bigger issues.  They give us a normal, which give us a basis for humour.  Rules and norms also act as a starting point for how we can think beyond them; as the saying goes: to think outside the box.  They give us the ability to go beyond what is expected and to do great things; great things, of course, does not include wearing a hat like a tuque.  So often people try to fight “the norm”, but we need to embrace it in order to prevent us from being… well, stupid.  Following the norm isn’t a terrible thing; it’s a foundation from which we can grow.