I used to think “bad” things happening were inevitable, but now I see it differently; bad isn’t always bad. I now understand what William Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet, “There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” Whether something is good or bad is all in how you look at something; it’s all in your perspective. This idea is further demonstrated in the book A Complaint Free World by Bill Bowen when he notes that you can see things as a problem or an opportunity, a setback or a challenge. Whether it’s learned or a genetic disposition, I have always been inclined to see things as more of a problem or setback rather than an opportunity or challenge. I’m drawn to being a cup is half full kind of guy, which is why I love what Demetri Martin says: “Those who see the glass half full are considered optimists, but shouldn’t we be more specific about the contents of the glass? If it’s [crap] I’m going half empty. I don’t like [crap]. As an optimist, yeah, I’m going half empty. Baby blood, that’s even more complicated. Is this blood going to a baby or coming from a baby?…” Fortunately, I’m starting to see that life isn’t as full of problems as I once thought and that there is good in all things.
This belief was brought to a full test this week since this past Monday I lost my job. I had been working as a youth pastor for close to three years and this week I was told the church could no longer afford to keep the position. The funny thing is… not haha funny… this isn’t the first time this has happened to me… I told you it wasn’t haha funny. I actually started this job because my previous church had to let me go after four and half years because of financial reasons. On top of that, I was also laid off from my job before the two church positions because the company had hit a bad financial spot. Thus, my first three grown up jobs have ended with being laid off because of financial problems. Fortunately, none of these situations had anything to do with me or my performance. In fact, my area was always doing really well. To be honest, if I was looking to hire someone I would think twice about hiring me based on this track record. I don’t believe in bad luck following people, but why take the chance? Three jobs lost because the employer was struggling money wise? No thanks to that guy.
After having this happen three times I know full well that how I experience a layoff is heavily based on the circumstances in which they happen. For instance, the first layoff was very disappointing and a shock, but I was still okay because I was young and already had a new path started. The second layoff was devastating and I was really angry about it because of how it was done and being unemployed without any direction for two months was brutal. This third lay off, however, was better because of three. The first is the person who told me the situation was really upset and clearly cared about me (this didn’t happen in the first two). The second is I’ve been wise financially and avoided debt. The number one reason I’m better at handling this layoff, however, goes beyond circumstances; it’s because I am much better at seeing the positive. After seven years of working on how I see the world I’m quicker to be grateful for what I have and not as afraid of what I don’t. It also helps that I just spent a weekend teaching about the importance of seeing the good in all situations and, if that doesn’t work, to hold onto God’s promise, “Even when the world intends harm, God can use it for His good.” (Gen 50:20, para) Of course, I should note that there is still fear and I have to purposefully say no to the negative thoughts that keep popping up, but my new mindset has helped reduce what I could be feeling.
Is there bad? My hope is this is simply a moment that will open the door to something better… at least that’s what I keep telling myself.
This week may you see the good in all situations, especially the tough ones because it leads to renewed courage and hope for tomorrow.
Rev Chad David, EmotionalSex.ca, ChadDavid.ca
Chad I really enjoyed you as my pastor and I am sorry that you were laid off from your job and I am glad that you are able to learn something from it each time as it isn’t the first time you were laid off. Thank you for giving me something for the week that I can remind myself of during the week when I go through touch situations.