Both my wife and I come from families who are prone to be nice-oholics, but they look very different. My wife’s side is very ADD based while mine is very Mary Poppins. What does that mean? Two very different experiences. For instance, my family is very good at looking at a clock, reading a clock, … [Read more...]
Why Doesn’t my Husband Compliment Me?
A client once told me that her husband never complimented her, and my first thought was, “I’m sorry, are you trying to impersonate my wife?” I didn’t go with that response, but it’s not wrong... for a husband. Now, I’m not saying “every” husband, but every normal husband. If a man’s been married … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 17: A Way to Be Nicer
This lesson is going to give a simple yet effective tool for being nicer. But first I want to share a quick story where this week I got called out on how I can be a nice-oholic – who could’ve guessed I’m not perfect? (You don’t have to answer that). This past Sunday, my church had a guest speaker … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 16: The Different Types of Mean
The other day my oldest said that a boy at school told her that Santa wasn’t real... you know, like a jerk. Why do people try to ruin good things for others? Oh, right. It’s because they want to think they’re the smart one. It’s just like a conspiracy theorist: “Only I know the truth because I’m … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 15: The Different Types of Nice
In the last lesson we looked how being too nice to ourselves is connected to selfishness and vanity, which brings us to an important point: Being a nice-oholic doesn’t mean you’re a good person. It means you have an addiction that needs to be addressed. No matter what kind of nice-oholic you are, … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 10: Finding Healing through Understanding
I was recently listening to some early 2000s Alternative music (aka modern classical music) and Simple Plan’s “Perfect” came on, which is a song to a dad with the main lyrics being: “I’m sorry, I can’t be perfect.” I wonder how the band is now that they’re older and likely have kids of their own. … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 9: Weak Parents
In the last lesson I looked at how we need to be careful not to enable bad behavior. Some of the worst culprits of this are parents. To begin, I should make a distinction between enabling and spoiling. A friend of mine said that when she lived at home as an adult, her dad would make sure her car … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 6: Being Nice can be Confusing
Being nice isn’t always clear cut. It can actually be confusing, and if you start thinking about whether something is nice or not, it’s easy to over think the variables (thereby not being nice to yourself). But let’s consider some options to demonstrate what I mean. The other week I was writing a … [Read more...]
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