In the last lesson we looked how being too nice to ourselves is connected to selfishness and vanity, which brings us to an important point: Being a nice-oholic doesn’t mean you’re a good person. It means you have an addiction that needs to be addressed. No matter what kind of nice-oholic you are, … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 10: Finding Healing through Understanding
I was recently listening to some early 2000s Alternative music (aka modern classical music) and Simple Plan’s “Perfect” came on, which is a song to a dad with the main lyrics being: “I’m sorry, I can’t be perfect.” I wonder how the band is now that they’re older and likely have kids of their own. … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 9: Weak Parents
In the last lesson I looked at how we need to be careful not to enable bad behavior. Some of the worst culprits of this are parents. To begin, I should make a distinction between enabling and spoiling. A friend of mine said that when she lived at home as an adult, her dad would make sure her car … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 6: Being Nice can be Confusing
Being nice isn’t always clear cut. It can actually be confusing, and if you start thinking about whether something is nice or not, it’s easy to over think the variables (thereby not being nice to yourself). But let’s consider some options to demonstrate what I mean. The other week I was writing a … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 5: Nice is Worth It
Maybe you’re like me, but I wish I knew what I know now when I was younger, especially back when I was starting as a youth pastor almost 20 years ago. (I just choked hard after realizing how long it’s been.) As a therapist I’m supposed to be a professional at dealing with conflict, but back then I … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic Pt 3: 7 tips to be properly nice
So far we’ve looked at how we can be overly nice and how that causes us by default to be mean to someone else, which is normally ourselves and sometimes someone else like a spouse. We also considered how being overly nice can cause collateral damage to others as the nice-oholic is indirectly mean … [Read more...]
Nice-oholic: The downside of being nice Pt 2
The worst thing about being a nice-oholic is, by default, you end up being mean to someone else and that someone is normally yourself and possibly the people closest to you (aka the people with whom you live). When you’re overly nice, there’s always a penalty to pay. Sometimes there’s meanness … [Read more...]
Nice-o-holic: The downside of thoughtfulness Pt1
Being thoughtful is often a very big part of being nice, but it’s not a prerequisite, which is a good thing for me. Thoughtfulness is not my strength... at least compared to my wife. Here’s a demonstration of a major difference between my wife and I (and between most women and men): Me: I’m … [Read more...]
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