I have recently had a number of people going through some very difficult times ask, “Where is God in my pain?” Considering I’m a therapist, it makes sense I have these types of conversations. It’d be strange if I was a Walmart greeter: “Hi, where do you keep the milk? And where is God in my pain?” … [Read more...]
A Tip to Reduce the Feel of Criticism
I like to see myself as someone who reads situations well (like most people), yet it turns out I kind of suck at it (like most people). When I listen to others tell me about a fight they had I’m very good at guessing why the other person did what they did and what happened next. Considering I’ve … [Read more...]
How People Screw Up Conversations
Ever wonder why they call it the “terrible twos?” It’s because the child typically discovers the word no, and they use it over and over, or they scream in your face as you try to put on their shoes and coat, which is a form of saying no. It can be so infuriating: “Stop saying no! Listen to me! … [Read more...]
There is Good in All Things (Failure Pt3)
If you want to feel closer with your spouse or friend, there is nothing quite as satisfying as being angry at something together – it’s the opposite effect of being angry at each other. Whether it’s sports related, someone you agree is being a jerk, or something in the news that’s annoying, having … [Read more...]
Failure is a Gift (Pt2)
Failure is real. Some people like to deny it or pretend it doesn’t exist (those people are stupid, which proves stupidity also exists... written with love). Fortunately, failure isn’t the evil thing many people want to believe it is (yea). The truth is failure is a gift. You might be thinking … [Read more...]
Am I a Failure?
I was recently asked, “Am I a failure?” (A much better question to be asked then, “Are you a failure?”) As a therapist, this question comes up more often than you might think, and the people most likely to ask it are good people whose brains are being mean to them (notice I wrote “most likely”). … [Read more...]
Should Anyone be Proud of You?
When I was really young, I thought the pinnacle of being a good son was buying your mom a house like Elvis did. What I didn’t know was that idea was dumb (no offence to me). Maybe if I was from an immigrant family who moved to a new country with nothing then that would be a nice idea because it … [Read more...]
A Therapist’s View of a Pastor’s Affair
It was recently revealed that the pastor of the biggest church to exist in Ontario had an affair over ten years ago. This situation becomes a good opportunity to show how I, as a therapist, like to reflect on situations. You will notice I like to consider patterns I see to help those involved feel … [Read more...]
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