In this series on communication I’ve mentioned the terms “hider” and “attacker.” Both have huge implications for how we communicate and should be looked at more closely. Here’s what they look like on a scale: Attacker (-10)------Self Controlled (0)------Hider (+10) Self Controlled (the … [Read more...]
Communication: When We Screw Up (Pt 3)
Last week I wrote that men can be oblivious, and I proved that really well with my previous week’s lesson on communication where I wrote about a friend’s situation. From a therapist perspective, I thought it was one of my more practical and helpful lessons. From a personal level… it sucked. I was … [Read more...]
How to Improve Communication Pt 2 (Men & Women are Different)
One of the biggest problems we have with communication in marriage is not accepting the fact that men and women are different – and boy, are we different. I know some people like to claim that we’re all the same, but that’s impossible when you consider one has XX chromosomes and the other XY, which … [Read more...]
How to Improve Communication Pt 1
I was recently talking with a friend who was struggling with communication in his relationship – a therapist who had a discussion about communication; how rare is that? What was unique about this situation was it was the guy complaining about it – yeah, it happens. His wife is a combination hider … [Read more...]
Choices, Interpretations, & How to Respond
Our choices have consequences. Another way to put that is live so your future self will thank you. I was reminded of that lesson in January when I had to see the doctor. That’s a good start to a story: “A doctor? Someone was hurt... that’s awesome.” (That might just be because I’m a guy and … [Read more...]
The 4 Types of Loneliness Pt2
Last week I discussed a situation that arose between my wife and I in order to teach eight lessons I use for communication. Considering the title of the post was “The 4 Types of Loneliness” it didn’t really make a lot of sense – you’re welcome. It’s now time to get more specifically into the … [Read more...]
The 4 Types of Loneliness Pt1 (8 Communication Tips)
After a particularly rough day, my wife said to me that she feels like a single parent. When I heard that, are you thinking I felt warm and squishy like I was given an emotional hug? You guessed it… wrong. As someone who preaches the importance of self control… it was borderline for me. You know … [Read more...]
Do You Matter?
Last week I had the wonderful privilege of going to Disney for a week with my mom, mother-in-law, sister, wife, and two daughters (ages five and almost three). Being the only male, some guys would call this trip torture, but I actually arranged it. I’m a bit of a girl, so it all worked out. Like … [Read more...]
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