Marriages are rarely broken by a major issue. In fact, more people recover from affairs and hidden debt scandals than you’d expect (there are also more hidden debt scandals than you’d expect where one person builds thousands of dollars of debt behind their partner’s back). Instead, what kills most … [Read more...]
Playing the Victim vs. Playing the Martyr
This past week I realized there’s a difference between playing the victim and playing the martyr, which is a rather important distinction to know. Both behaviors are unhealthy, but one is sinister while the other is more self-deprecating. Playing the victim is when you spin things to be all … [Read more...]
The 2 Kinds of Depression & 2 Ways to Handle It
From my experience as a therapist, there are two kinds of depression: I’m really nice to others, but I’m really hard on myself I’m a helpless victim (aka “The world is against me,” “This is all my parents’ fault,” “The world owes me,” and “Life is hard, so I’m hard on others.”) Note: People in … [Read more...]
Why You Want Your Man to Have a Dad-Bod
There are five main red flags I like to give women if they’re married and wonder if they have a potentially bigger issue with their partner going on that needs to be addressed, which are the same five red flags I give a woman interested in dating a guy. (If you want the answer to the title, you can … [Read more...]
12 Things that Make Someone a Jerk
Because I have been on the receiving end of some very unfair assumptions and accusations, I find my heart often goes to the accused. It wants to assume these people have good hearts and they acted in a way that was misinterpreted or they simply had a bad moment. I don’t like to assume people are … [Read more...]
Mother-in-Laws…
My mother-in-law is one of my wife’s best features. If you think that’s rude, I’ll also add that one of my own best features is my mom. Both my wife and I scored with incredible mother-in-laws, which is pretty rare, but absolutely amazing. Life is so much better when the couple enjoys each … [Read more...]
The Importance of Perspective
Last week I wrote about the importance of knowing our roles in a relationship – a pretty smart post if you ask me (I’m okay with being biased). Another very important concept that needs to be remembered is perspective. How we experience something is affected by how we interpret it. For instance, … [Read more...]
Know Your Role (a tip particularly helpful for new parents)
In my marriage, I’ve been the social organizer, trip planner, and the one generally in charge of our calendar; you know, the stuff wives typically do – yes, I’m kind of a woman (my friends will confirm that). If you knew my wife, you’d understand why I’ve been put in charge of this. She has no … [Read more...]
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