**This post is based on a request Open relationships, where the couple is allowed to seek a sexual partner or partners outside of their marriage, are amazing... if you’re a therapist like me. It’s like bad parents; they give me hope for future employment. The truth is open relationships are … [Read more...]
Necessary vs. Unnecessary Suffering
My cat likes to chew ribbon, a snack that has the potential to kill him. That’s a bad life choice. The couple times he was able to get at some they were small enough pieces that they passed through him instead of clogging his intestines... that or he used up one of his nine lives. On the positive … [Read more...]
We Need Grace: Humboldt Broncos Crash
I once read about a court case where a mom believed a daycare worker injured her child. There wasn’t irrefutable evidence for this, but the odds were the worker did something wrong. Even though the mom and worker had previously been very friendly with each other, after this situation nothing but … [Read more...]
Why We Can’t Eliminate Racism
Some people hate racism; this makes sense. What doesn’t make sense is that not everyone hates racism. What makes even less sense is when people attack racists because they’re now doing exactly what they hate about what racists are doing. Attacking only leads to more attacking. Unfortunately, … [Read more...]
What is the right answer?
As a therapist I need to accept that I can only help people who want help. I need to try to inspire them to want change, but at a certain point I need to let them be as they choose. I can’t help people unless they’re ready and that often means they need to hit rock bottom. Ultimately, as long as … [Read more...]
It’s Always 50% Your Fault
In therapy I have found there are two main groups of people. There are the ‘it’s all my fault’ people who are brilliant at making everything that goes wrong somehow their fault. I once had someone apologize for the weather and admitted they felt responsible for it not being nicer out. This type … [Read more...]
Caring about Jesus dying can be a sign of shame
Jesus dying on the cross and rising again is the foundation of Christianity making it unfathomably important to believers. That being said, there is a point where it can become more of an obsession that leads to shame and self deprecation. I was recently at the annual conference for the group … [Read more...]
Am I Guarded or Think I’m Superior?
I was recently at my ordination group’s annual conference (the governing body who let me be a reverend), so there was a lot of really nice people there... minus me. It’s not that I don’t want to be nice; it’s just my automatic thoughts can be... less than nice. Part of this less than niceness lead … [Read more...]
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