You need to embrace criticism... is good advice that makes you want to slap the person giving it (receiver) “Yeah, I know; I’m not stupid. Which cheek do you want me to slap?” It’s amazing how advice feels like criticism, and criticism feels like a putdown; it’s as if you’re too dumb to have … [Read more...]
Tips to be a Great Listener
I was once told people on the autism spectrum (e.g. Asperger syndrome) were bad listeners because they struggle to recognize social cues and read facial expressions, but I have found that they can actually be superior at listening based on the mistakes I described last week. For instance, I … [Read more...]
I Bet Your Partner Isn’t as Good at Listening as He Thinks
While working with couples in my marriage therapy practice I’ve recently heard a number of guys claim they are very good listeners, which makes the wives burst out in laughter. It’s really great these husbands can make their partners laugh, but unfortunately, that wasn’t their goal, which means, … [Read more...]
Rejection is a Gift
Rejection is a gift. Of course, I don’t mean you should break up with someone and say “I have a gift for you; it’s really good, and you truly earned it.” Sure, rejection can be demoralizing and cause us to feel like a giant failure making us want to give up on life because what’s the point when … [Read more...]
The One Who Got Away
The song “Lips of an Angel” became the anthem of many young people a few years ago... or 12 years ago; I know I’m old because it doesn’t seem that long ago I was watching it on MuchMusic because there wasn’t youtube... okay, now that seems like a long time ago. This song about an ex the lyricist … [Read more...]
Will Your Relationship Last?
As an officiant I see a lot of couples all googly eyed and dream struck with each other. These are the same couples I might see one day in the future as a marriage therapist because life has a tendency to bash away the fantasy. Last week I wrote about how to find someone through friends or dating … [Read more...]
Finding the One & Online Dating
As a therapist and officiant I meet a lot of couples, and the most common question I ask is: “How did you two meet?” From my sample of couples, about half meet online and the other half meet through friends. Thus, if you want to find someone to date, these are the two areas on which you should be … [Read more...]
Depression vs Grief vs SAD
Tis the season... for depressive states. More and more we hear about seasonal affective disorder (SAD) where people are affected by the seasons, particularly the darker ones. Something that is helpful to understand is that there is a difference between a depressive state (SAD), depression, and … [Read more...]
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