The last couple of weeks I’ve been looking at the following concept:
Inferior (-10)——We’re All Equal (0)——Superior (+10)
The ultimate truth is that in our humanity we’re all equal, but our brains can tell us otherwise. Regardless of whether we might think we’re better or worse than someone (aka being judgemental), we all generally lean to one side or the other of this scale. For instance, I lean to the Inferior side, but that doesn’t mean I never have moments of thinking I’m better than someone. It’s rare, but it can happen.
Even though I’ve already looked at this concept in the last two lessons, I haven’t really defined anything (because I’m brilliant). I would argue the main difference between the inferior and superior side is “I’m trying to earn something like respect, love, and admiration,” versus “I deserve something like respect, love, and admiration.” Beyond this definition, it can be hard to determine where someone is because most things can happen on both sides; they are just inspired by different motivations and beliefs. Let’s consider the following:
- Not being able to say no: Inferior minded people don’t want to disappoint others while superior minded people can feel compelled to do everything because they’ll do it better.
- Dreaming of a great triumph: Inferior minded people can want to prove they are worth something (the inspiration for many movies) while superior minded people can want to prove they are in fact superior.
- Trouble asking for help: Inferior minded people can be afraid of being a burden while superior minded people can put pressure on themselves to remain superior and not lower themselves down enough to ask.
- Trouble accepting compliments: Inferior minded people can brush off compliments because they don’t think they deserve the attention or they’ll find fault in what they did while superior minded people can brush off compliments because what they did isn’t a big deal – it’s what superior people do.
- Perfection driven: Inferior minded people can be drawn to perfection in their attempt to feel acceptable while superior minded people want things done to their standards and they can get very angry at others who don’t strive for the same impossible standards, which emphasizes the idea that others are less than them.
- Too quick to forgive: Inferior minded people can forgive too quickly because they just take it and bury the hurt even though this can lead to them having a meltdown whether exploding or shutting down. They can also carry growing resentment because it’s not really forgiven; it’s buried. Meanwhile superior minded people can brush things off as “Of course you screwed you up; you’re lower than me.”
- Potentially great employees: Inferior minded people can be great if they’re the people pleasing kind who wants to do a good job to earn something while superior minded people can be great because they have confidence and believe in themselves.
- Potentially terrible employees: Inferior minded people can be terrible if they give up too quickly and/or call in sick all the time because they feel low while superior minded people can be entitled jerks who won’t do work and expect more money for their little effort.
- Potentially mean people: Inferior minded people can be mean as they want to drag others down with them while superior minded people can lack compassion and/or care: “Know your place.”
- Potentially angry people: Inferior minded people can be angry because they’re constantly on the defence feeling less than others (i.e. anger is a defence mechanism) while superior minded people can be angry when they’re not being treated as they feel they deserve.
- Potentially anxious and depressed people: Inferior minded people can lose hope because they don’t see the good in themselves while superior minded people can lose hope because if everyone is less than them and they don’t have it perfect, what hope is left for the world?
- Potentially very nice people: Inferior minded people can be very nice and often end up pushovers for fear of conflict or getting in trouble. This can include walking on eggshells or hiding. Meanwhile, superior minded people can be nice because they care about the “little” people and feel it’s their position to help those below them.
Another way to consider these two sides is to reduce them into basic mindsets:
Inferior Brained People
- I’m inferior, so I live with fear and guilt, which means I’m a huge people pleaser to limit the conflict and/or judgement I might face (i.e. passive).
- I’m inferior, but want special treatment like I’m superior (i.e. passive aggressive).
- I’m inferior, so I spend lots of money, have a mean streak, and/or try to look really tough to compensate.
- I’m inferior, so I serve with quiet resentment.
- I’m inferior, and want special attention as such (i.e. they find power in sympathy).
- I’m inferior, and dream of being seen as superior even for a moment, so I work really hard and sacrifice a lot to achieve my dream (i.e. a popular movie theme).
- I’m inferior, and dream of being seen as superior, but I don’t do anything about it (i.e. lazy).
- I’m inferior, so I’ve given up.
Superior Brained People
- I’m superior and I don’t do anything with my life, so I can imagine I can do anything I want since there’s no evidence that I can’t
- I’m superior, and expect special treatment for it.
- I’m superior, and achieve great things because of my confidence and believing in myself
- I’m superior, and want to help others to look superior and/or avoid guilt.
- I’m superior, and feel obligated to help others, but have some resentment growing toward them.
- I’m superior, and feel disgusted by others who are below me
- I’m superior, and dismiss those below me because their problems aren’t as important as mine.
This week may you better understand what inferior and superior brained people look like because it has huge implications for how people function.
Rev. Chad David, ChadDavid.ca, Learning to love dumb people (like me)