This week I had an experience I would’ve rather let someone else have. It’s one of those moments as an observer is hilarious, but to the person experiencing it, nasty. I was walking from my backyard to the front of my house, something I’ve done many times, but this time was different… and not in a good way. Did I find a skunk? No, that would’ve been awesome. I love skunks; I think they’re hilariously cute. If you get sprayed you just don’t know how to read body language: (dumb person) “Your tail is in the air and you’re pointing your butt at me? You must want to play leap frog…” As I was walking to the front of my house a blob landed on my nose like a tiny marshmallow with burnt edges. Unfortunately, it wasn’t a marshmallow. It wasn’t even food… well, it was partly food. It was food that had been digested and then shot out of bird’s batoot. Yup, I had been hit by a giant bird turd (my apologies for the crass word use; I’m just a sucker for fun pairing words like Chad’s rad, Pooh’s poo, Alyshia’s man-ysha… I still haven’t found a good pairing word for my fiancé’s name). It took me a second to realize what had just happened. It was just suddenly there. For a few seconds I just stared at it crossed eyed as it rested on the edge my nose like a large witch’s wart. When I snapped out of my stunned state, I wiped my nose, and flung it away with a grimace of disgust. My life goal is not to be a bird toilet. As a precaution I wiped my hand over my face to make sure there weren’t any splatter spots. I hoped I wouldn’t have found anything, but my hopes were dashed as I felt my hand smear on a dime sized brown goop less than a centimetre from my mouth. Essentially, if I had of licked my lips I would’ve been able to have given a description of how it tasted. Fortunately, there wasn’t a Cinnabon around so there was no reason for me to lick my lips, which is good since I’m pretty sure digested worm guts wouldn’t have tasted like globs of cinnamon. Tradition says to be pooped on by a bird is good luck, but I’m thinking this is something mom’s used to calm their children down when they were hit. I’m pretty sure birds aren’t flying around thinking, “Who should I bless with good luck today? There’s no one worthy so I’ll just hit a car.”
When things that are less than ideal happen we have two main reactions: We either get angry, which is more aggressive, or we can go sad, which is more passive. Essentially we land somewhere on this scale:
(angry) +10 0 -10 (sad)
I’ve used this chart with many clients and everyone defines their anger and sad scale differently. The benefit of anger is it tends to be empowering and energizing, but with a risk of reacting without thinking and hurting others. The benefit of sadness is it allows for reflection, but it can lead to weakness and feeling defeated. Both emotions have their benefits and drawbacks, but the danger is when we stick to one side too much. In a perfect world we’ll spend time in both states in a proper amount in order to be have times of being empowered and being reflective. In this bird situation I was angry to a level three when I wiped the marshmallowy blob off my nose and then flipped to a negative three sad when the brown patch was discovered. I’m not “bipolar”, but I tend to flip between the two more than most. This means I have to be careful how I regulate my emotions with a combination of trying to get anger out and being reflective.
This week may you begin to see your own emotional patterns and find a healthy balance.
Rev Chad David, www.ChadDavid.ca, Learning to love dumb people