The other day I was walking by a group of guys and I heard the one say, “I’d tap that.” No, he wasn’t saying this about me… and no, I wasn’t disappointed. This comment was directed towards a girl nearby. What was strange to me was that the guy said this like it was the ultimate compliment. It was as if making this inappropriate comment was the thing every girl longs to hear: (guy) “I’d tap that.” (girl) “Would you really? You would ‘tap that’ as in me? You think I’m tappable? This is the greatest day of my life! All of my hard work has finally been recognized. I would like to take this opportunity to thank my parents and everyone who ever believed in me. Shout out to my friends and, hey Jennie, you said no guy would want to use me for my body, but guess we know who’s worthy of being spoken about in a derogatory way now.” In case you haven’t heard this phrase before, ‘I’d tap that’ is saying you’d have sex with this person. It has nothing to do with a cult ritual or the tapping technique used for healing. Ultimately, the whole concept of this statement is stupid because guys will sleep with just about anyone; it may take a few drinks to blur the vision, but if a girl is willing, there’s little chance of him saying no. Thus, saying you’ll have sex with a girl isn’t special. It’s basically saying ‘I’d treat you in the normal way.’ Maybe if the guy changed the context a bit it would be less redundant. For instance, maybe if he said, “She is so ugly… but I’d still tap that,” or perhaps, “She is such a witch… but I’d still tap that.” Then it’s bordering a compliment because despite her obvious flaw he’s still willing to use her for his own selfish reasons. The only exception to this is if someone like Ryan Gosling said to a girl, “I’d tap that.” That would be a compliment and make her feel really special he’s a rich, Hollywood celebrity who can sleep with pretty much anyone he’d want. For him to say this to you is a big compliment because it’s saying you’re near the top of his many options. Even if he said ‘I’d tap that’ about my girlfriend I’d find it a compliment, “Yeah, I have a girl hot enough the Gosling would want to sleep with her. I’m the man.” And if he said it about me? Still a compliment… a very weird but cool compliment.
If a guy really wants to show he’s attracted to a girl, what he should be saying is a statement like, “For her, I’d give up my friends,” or “For her, I’d give up being a jackass.” When a guy really likes a girl, he’s willing to give something up. Thus, instead of ‘I’d tap that’ a better compliment to a girl would be, “She’s so special I’d wait for marriage to have sex with her.” Now that would be special. Again, it’s giving something up for her. Saying you’d have sex with her is saying you’ll treat her normal; wow, romantic. Maybe if we were like the praying mantis where having sex means we die then saying you’d have sex with her would be a compliment because you’re saying “I’d die for you.” That’s even a little romantic… yes, I’m thinking of Bryan Adam’s song right now too… great song.
My girlfriend once said to me, “You are my best friend.” My first reaction was “Wow, you need better friends.” The thing was she said this because she thought it would make me feel special. I however, would rather her say about me ‘I’d tap that.’ Why? Because we tend to give compliments to the other person that we ourselves want to hear; guys say inappropriate things like ‘I’d tap that’ about a girl because ultimately we want girls to say ‘I’d tap that’ about us. Similarly, my girlfriend said I was her best friend because that’s what she wants to hear from me. Thus, if we want to compliment the opposite gender properly, we need to start to think about what they actually want to hear. Typically guys need to be less sexual while girls can afford to be a little more… at least with the proper guy. Saying ‘I’d tap that’ is not a statement you should say about your boss, your school’s principal or a customer.
Ultimately to make a woman feel complimented a guy wants to say something that will make her feel special. Talking about her as an object typically isn’t what a girl wants to hear… crazy, I know. She wants to be thought of as beautiful, creative and intelligent, and the person who is so wonderful that her being near you makes life better. To compliment a guy, however, you essentially want to make him feel like a man. This can include a sexual reference or not. The goal is simply to make him feel like he’s the king.
This week may you compliment the important people in your life in a wonderful way.
Rev Chad David, EmotionalSex.ca, ChadDavid.ca