Chad David:    Therapist, Officiant, & Really Cool Guy
(905) 536-0022 | chad@chaddavid.ca

Chad David

Learning to ? dumb people

How to make things better

by

Over the years I have seen men and women sullen and forlorn sitting for who knows how long under the glare of judgment. These people would be treated as if they were diseased. When others walked by them, the others would take a step or two away as they passed. I remember one particular time I was walking with a friend and as we approached one of these unfortunate souls, he turned to me and said “Whatever you do, don’t make eye contact.” In my ignorance, I wasn’t sure what could be so terrible that would make me do this, but I did as I was told. Then sometime later, when I was by myself and approaching one of these people, I decided to look… I should have listened to my friend; oh, the horror. When I looked up at this man, we made eye contact. It was like looking into a vortex of suffering. His eyes were void of hope replaced by an overwhelming sense of despair. No, he wasn’t homeless (that’d be rude). No, he wasn’t someone handing out Jesus tracks on a street corner (I know to avoid these people). He was an unknown author doing a book signing in a mall bookstore.

This past Saturday… I was that unknown author. I was the author no one cared about because really, why should they care? Who am I to them? I haven’t met them, talked to them or helped them in anyway… which is why I covered the floor in front of my table with banana peels. This would solve all three of these issues. With one swift fall I could meet them, have a reason to talk to them and a way to help: “Here let me help you up.” Boom, instant conversation starter: “That was a great fall… and if you don’t buy a book I’m going to post the video I caught of you falling on youtube,” and the threat ensures a sale. Talk about a brilliant sales strategy. It’s like the U.S. bombing someone and then offering to sell them the material needed to rebuild… look at me getting political like Jon Stewart.

Unfortunately, I’m not like the U.S.; I don’t actually have the guts to do something like that. I didn’t bring banana peels, motor oil, a sack of marbles, or even micro machines (miniature dinky cars my generation used to think were cool; back when small was the preferred choice… that’s all I’m going to say about that… I want to say more, but I can’t… want to, but can’t). Of course, if I had the guts to use one of these things that would’ve so helped business. People would’ve been lining up to watch others fall: “Woo! Best afternoon ever. It’s like the live version of America’s Funniest Videos.” This would be especially great since the majority of people shopping that day were seniors, which means with their reduced eyesight they wouldn’t likely have seen the banana peels. Plus, we could find out how often people over sixty-five will break a hip when they fall? Don’t worry, it’d be okay for them because we’re in Canada, so the medical is covered. It’s not like we’re in the U.S., go Canada. Yes, it’s a horrible thing to think, and I would never consider doing it… well, I considered it, but I’d never actually do it. I should point out that this has been an exercise in sarcasm. I was trying to sound terrible. I would never try to make someone fall… except maybe for the two older ladies who gave me the nastiest looks I’ve ever seen as they walked by my table. It was as if I had kicked their pet… demon. As they walked by me they glared at me with such a vibrant hatred in their eyes. They even had an extra downward curl to their frowns; although the extra downward curl may have just been the curves of their mustaches… I couldn’t really tell. They were not the friendly little old ladies you picture when you think of the scene when a boy scout helps a little old lady cross the street. They’d be the little old ladies the boy scouts would bring halfway and leave in the middle of the road with a giant target taped to their backs with people cheering in the background “Thank you,” “Good choice.” Perhaps they were having a bad day or they were feeling guilty for being Hitler and Stalin’s nannies; I don’t really know. All I know is I felt a burning sensation when they stared at me. It was quite the look… quite the scarring look.

Fortunately, this book signing experience was made better for several important reasons (besides an excuse to have terrible thoughts). The first is my girlfriend joined me. It was great having someone there with me, and with her there, some people didn’t step away when they were walking by us. In fact, a couple older guys walked by us a few dozen times. I’m guessing that was so they could see my girlfriend… or possibly because they were lost and looking for their wives… or hiding from them. It was also better because I had healthy expectations going into it. My expectation was neither too much: “I’m going to sell all of my books!” nor negative: “This is going to suck.” Instead, my goal was to courageously smile at people and help at least one person, which I was able to do. My sign “1 minute to being happier” attracted one man who liked what he heard… and possibly what he saw… don’t forget my girlfriend was with me. Thus, having healthy expectations helped to set me up for having a decent afternoon despite being that person people treat like he’s diseased. By being aware of what I expected, and making sure what I expected was positive and fair, I was able to make a typically painful experience still feel pretty good. The problem in many of our experiences and relationships is we have expectations that are impossible to fulfill, so we always end up disappointed, which can lead to anger, sadness and self loathing; not a good situation. Thus, my challenge to you this week is whenever you’re going into something a little scary, or facing something new, check your expectations because this can make the difference for whether you’ll enjoy yourself or not, and if you can, bring someone with you to share in the experience.

Comments

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