The other week when I was at a relationship conference (I mentioned it in my last blog), I was staying in a hotel by myself, and something happened that I never imagined happening. My second night there I went to use the soap I had kept at the sink and I noticed there was a one inch curly hair stuck in it. I say stuck ‘in’ it because there was a small layer of soap over it. Now I know that wet soap could have dried over the newly placed hair, but I don’t know how the hair would have got there. Like many hotels I was given two bars of soap, one bigger and more rugged for the body and one with a softer scent for the face… I have a strong sense of smell so I notice things like this. Logically this softer scent for the face makes sense since your face doesn’t smell like your feet or armpits… hopefully; if it does, good luck finding someone to kiss you on a regular basis. I point out the two soap bars because I had the body one in the shower and the face one at the sink for convenient hand and face washing purposes. My face is clean shaven, and my eyebrows… not an inch long or curly… although that sounds like the beginning of a fun Halloween costume. Thus, this hair on the soap wasn’t from my face, so where did it come from? Even if I magically had a body hair fly out of the shower and somehow land on the wet soap by the sink in order to be embedded in it, my body doesn’t have any one inch hairs because I keep things properly trimmed; armpits are not meant to be concealing a forest of hair and chest hair is not meant to be like a Santa beard drooping off your chest. Since the hair wasn’t from me, my first thought was someone must have broken into my room to use my soap. They didn’t steal anything; they just had a really dirty something with hair that needed to be cleaned. I’m thinking it’s not knuckle hair because who has one inch knuckle hair… although, again, this sounds like a fun addition to a Halloween costume. I quickly realized that this was a stupid scenario and then figured the hair must have been put on the soap at the factory at which it was made. My mind then imagined the most unhygienic man possible; I mean he’s so unhygienic he only ever washes his hands once a day and it’s by default since he has to remove the blood off his hair brush and nail clippers after killing his dinner. Why does he use a hair brush and nail clippers? That’s how gross he is. How he got a job making soap I don’t know, but it’s possible… yes, possible. Let’s be honest; what are the odds of this being true? Eighty percent? Even at eighty percent there’s a twenty percent chance it’s not true. More importantly, did you notice my mind went straight to the worst case scenario? We do this all the time don’t we? My friends are late… oh no, they must have been in a car accident. Parents are great at this: (disgruntled parent late at night) “You’re late! Why didn’t you call? I was worried sick. I was about to call the cops because I figured you were kidnapped.” Isn’t it fun how thinking of the worst case scenario is a great way to increase anxiety? Yet, a lot of us tend to be really good at this; we worry ourselves sick over what “could” have happened.
When looking at the future, especially when you’re scared or to explain mysterious things like random hairs in the soap I recommend doing more than just looking for the worst case scenario. I recommend looking at: the worst case, the best case and the likely case, in order to balance your mind out. For instance, the worst case with the hair would be that I have a brown, one inch hair on my head… or did have a brown, one inch hair on my head but now I’m balding. Suddenly, I want the unhygienic guy who never washes. That’s so much better than balding with a head like mine. The best case is the hair was from the head of a small child who was blessed by his holiness, Pope Francis (the coolest pope ever) and as a gift to the world the boy is plucking out each hair and putting one in every bar of soap he makes to pass on the blessing. What a nice kid, eh? Unfortunately, there is little chance of this being true. The likely case is the hair was on there before I got it, but it’s just a hair on a bar of soap. There’s no curse or blessing. It’s just a hair on a bar of soap. It’s not like it’s a random hair in the meal I’m eating. I can just scratch off the hair, wash off the spot to make sure it’s clean, and then it’s good to go; it’s soap. Who cares where it’s from or how it got there? The likely case is, it’s just a rogue hair from a random, normal person.
As a society we need to work on looking at more than the worst case scenario. We need to start thinking about the best case and the likely case. Only then will we be able to reduce anxiety and stress while increasing courage and perseverance.
This week may you begin to look beyond the worst case and reduce your anxiety by realizing the best case and likely case in order to reduce fear and relax your mind.
Rev. Chad David, Emotional Sex, emotional tune up