Have you ever felt like your life wasn’t what it is supposed to be? That you’re missing something? I have… I do right now. My life isn’t able to keep up with my aspirations. If anything it feels more like I’m on a leash and I just keep wrapping myself more and more around a pole trying to get free. Yes, I’m essentially calling myself a dumb dog, but that’s how I feel. I want to run free, but I don’t know how to do it. Each time I turn and think I’ve arrived to where I’m meant to be something happens to prove me wrong; I’m just going in circles and the leash is getting shorter and shorter. Eminem said… or rapped… or stammered (however you want to put it) “If you had one chance or one opportunity to seize everything you have ever wanted; one moment would you capture it or just let it slip? Yo.” (The ‘yo’ is the coolest part… yo. Now I’m cool too yo) (http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/eminem/loseyourself.html). I understand the purpose of this opening is to be inspiring, but the truth is life is more than one moment. Life consists of many moments. One moment can’t make or break your life… unless the “break” is death then that moment is a life breaker. Otherwise, one moment doesn’t mean you’ll have a happier, life fulfilling journey or a crappier one because life is a culmination of many moments. For instance, you could win American Idol, but unless you have big moments after that your career is going… well, like where Canadian Idols end up. Where you ask? Good question. The good news is we can have some control over these moments and if we work at something good moments will result.
A few years ago, back when I was a teenager… so definitely a few years ago. I ran a comedy team and we performed in the Rising Star competition at the Toronto CNE. This is a pretty big competition. For instance, Blake McGrath, a now Hollywood singer, dancer, and choreographer won the grand prize at this event several times including the two of the three years we were there. I kind of met him, but I don’t think he really saw me from the pedestal he put himself on. In our first year the judges were amused by us because they hadn’t seen anything quite like us at more prestigious competition: we sang and danced in our underwear; yes, very classy. We ended up passing the audition – they must have liked what they saw… we kept it PG – which put us in the top 25 of over a hundred more professional group singing acts of young people who actually had real skill and singing coaches. The following year everything came together really well for us and we worked our way through the various levels of the competition. We ended up performing on the main stage in front of a huge audience and winning the group vocal contest. It was amazing although we later found out there were so many complaints that they changed the rules the following year so we couldn’t win again. The only real downfall of that show was after our set we threw candy into the audience and I was a little too aggressive. One piece ended up hitting a kid in the face and it made him cry. I felt horrible for that… not as bad as the kid though because I didn’t cry… no I’ll be honest, I did. I’m a wuss too. At least he got candy out of it… On top of winning, a man came up to us after and introduced himself. He was Jim Carrey’s original manager and he was interested in working with us. Talk about a dream moment. Unfortunately things quickly fizzled since school was more important for my other members and, to be honest, I needed some serious help to improve my writing. High school writing was easy; to be funny a guy dresses like a girl or puts on a fat suit, he uses a silly voice, or falls down; grown up comedy was more than that. I needed guidance, but didn’t have any. In the end, that one moment was great, but it was just one moment. We did a few small industry shows with this manager, but then he disappeared and that stage was officially over.
Fortunately, the good news about life being more than a moment is when bad things happen it’s also just a moment. For instance, no matter how hard I try, no matter how loving I try to be and emotionally healthy I become, I still meet people who hate me. For instance, I’ve recently had someone make it very clear that she hates me in a very hurtful way. As far as I know there was no real precedence for her hatred, but it’s strong. I’ve understood why some people have hated me, but not her. Perhaps she resented me for having so many friends. Perhaps she misinterpreted something I said or did. Perhaps she was defending something or someone. Perhaps I just reminded her of someone who really hurt her (this is referred to in counseling as transference). Perhaps she is so broken herself that she can’t help but ruin the lives of those around her. For whatever reason, though, she severely hurt me. Fortunately, this event is still just a moment. Of course, this situation was such a bad moment that it unfortunately led to many subsequent bad moments. The good news is these bad moments add up to just one small stage of my life and soon this stage will be over. It’s not my whole life. Even in this life changing event it’s just a few moments that add up to one stage… don’t you wish I was giving more details? “What’s he talking about?” I know something you don’t know… perhaps she hates me because I’m immature… that would make sense.
Fortunately, I came across a lesson I gave last fall where I taught that life is like a puzzle. Each stage of our life is essentially a different puzzle piece. On its own it may not make sense. It may not even make sense beside several other pieces, but eventually the puzzle will come together and make sense just like your life. The stage of connecting with a comedy manager was pretty awesome; the stage of being messed over by someone… not so awesome, but they’re both just stages. At the end of my life all of these stages will come together to show a beautiful picture. I’m sure someone is thinking what if it’s not a nice picture because you have a lot of bad stages? If you’re having a bad stage this is a good time to reevaluate what you’re doing and to see if you should be doing something different to help reduce the badness of this stage or your life in general. For instance, I’m naturally a negative thinker so I have to work at finding the positive in order to see the beauty of the different stages. Fortunately, every stage no matter how bad it appears will still have beauty.
One of my favourite Bible verses states: “And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.” (Rom 8:28, http://www.biblegateway.com/quicksearch/?quicksearch=all+things+work&qs_version=NLT) I find it very reassuring to know that no matter the stage, no matter what the piece is, God can use it to create a bigger picture. Eventually the puzzle will come together and make sense. The nice thing about this is when people ask why I’d bother being Christian I can say because of verses like this that offer me hope and reassurance; thus, whether being Christian is right or wrong doesn’t ultimately matter because it helps me be happier and to overcome the bad stages.
This week if you are in a good stage may you enjoy it, and if you’re in a tougher stage may you find reassurance that this is just a stage and not your life. Either way may your life come together to display a beautiful life filled with love… yo.
Rev Chad David, Emotional Sex