Two years ago my girlfriend went on her own to Australia for two months. As much as I trusted her, let’s be honest, who can say no to an accent? Even ugly people become sexy when they have an Australian accent. For instance, what woman would find Hugh Jackman attractive if he didn’t have an accent?… That might be a bad example. I can actually hear women screaming at me for suggesting he wasn’t attractive. Not only was my girlfriend going to be surrounded by men with beautiful accents she’s also beautiful so the guys would be lining up to charm her. How did I handle this? I went on a diet and exercise program where I lost fifteen pounds while she was away. I naturally told her this was health related, but I was already healthy, so I did what they call lying. Lying is fun and I justified it because in my head if I was honest I wasn’t exactly encouraging her to stick around: “What do you mean you find my insecurity and lack of trust unattractive?” The truth was I figured if she left me I wanted to be at my best for meeting another woman… noble I know… and clearly a poor demonstration of my commitment, but again, I’m up against Australian accents, so the reality was temptation was going to be strong for her to leave me.
What I learned from my dieting and exercising was that losing weight is challenging, but very rewarding whereas maintaining weight is… well, boring. Losing weight is exciting because people say things like “Wow, you’ve lost weight! Good for you,” and “You look great! How much have you lost?” This makes losing weight very rewarding. On the other hand, if you’re maintaining weight, when you see people they say things to you like “Hey,” and “Good morning,” because you look normal; there’s nothing exciting to say. You’re maintaining the status quo, so people don’t think to acknowledge it; it’s normal. Any acknowledgement even seems funny: “Wow, Bob you just stay the same. Nothing changes about you.” “You know who knows how to be stagnant? You do; you’re the best at being exactly as we expect. You’re the king of ruts.” The only time this idea of staying the same is a compliment is when you haven’t seen someone for ten or so years and they haven’t aged: “Time has been good to you. Look at you! You haven’t changed at all.” Of course, this is a just a reminder that you’re old… yes, I’m good at finding the negative.
The bottom line is losing weight is very different than maintaining weight. Losing weight is a more aggressive shake up to your routine in order to change your body while maintaining your weight is all about keeping a healthy routine. The first one is challenging and exciting with ups and downs like the first stages of dating someone: “I feel so alive.” The latter is all about being consistent like being in a long term relationship: “I feel so… normal.” The first is empowering because as you lose weight people will ask you for advice: “How’d you do it?” No one asks, “You’re so consistent with your weight. How do you do it?” Losing weight is also different because it usually starts with some sort of catalyst: “Oh no, I don’t fit into my pants anymore!” or “I’m tired of my kids wrapping themselves in my stomach flab when they’re cold.” Losing weight is all about a clear goal and striving to achieve it. Losing weight is fueled by passion, but once you achieve the goal, however, what do you do now? A lot of people meet their goal or get close to it and then lose their passion, which leads to cheating on their diet and ignoring their exercises. Maintaining your weight is essentially boring. It’s finding a balance that works for you, which means when you go from losing weight to maintaining weight you need to transition your motivation as the following chart denotes:
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Short Term Motivation to Lose Weight |
Short TO Long Term Term |
Long Term Motivation to Maintain Weight |
Need a Catalyst for Change
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Tip: fear and guilt might be motivators, but they’re not very healthy.
The end result of my girlfriend’s trip is we’re still together… I’m more man than all of those Australian surfers with their accents and six-packs. I was very grateful I didn’t have to try to meet another girl because I’m terrible at it, and I ended up enjoying my exercise routines – it became a habit. I didn’t keep off the fifteen pounds I lost, but I found the healthy weight I’m able to maintain without being overly stressed or hard on myself, which is the ultimate goal in maintaining weight. Maintaining weight isn’t a short period; it’s a lifetime of maintaining certain healthy habits and routines, so you need to be comfortable with them; for me, comfort includes cookies as I right smiling at the thought… mmm.
This week may you discover the healthy balance in your own life in order to maintain a healthy lifestyle.
Rev Chad David, EmotionalSex.ca, ChadDavid.ca