My advice this Christmas is to laugh. I know it sounds simple, but sometimes we forget to simply laugh at our mistakes and the silly things that happen to us. Instead of getting angry at someone for something dumb they’ve done, try laughing. Instead of getting mad at yourself for making a mistake, laugh at yourself. You’ll reduce a lot of stress and unnecessary pain by simply laughing at the situation. Laughing is not only good for you physically and emotionally, it’s a great way to connect with others and build relationship; unfortunately, it’s just not always easy, especially when we’re not used to doing it… and by ‘it’ I mean laughing, not “it”… although, not doing “it” could have an affect too.
Yesterday was a good reminder of this lesson for me. I was at my fiancé’s house. She lives with her mom, and last night her sister and brother-in-law were over visiting. These are both important facts to this story. Before joining the group I trimmed my nose hair… that’s not an important fact to the story. At least it proves I have good grooming habits, and implies a suggestion to other men to do the same: Trim it up, boys. While we were visiting I had to use the washroom to #1. You could say #1 had to #1… that’s just me trying to sound cocky… and not really achieving it very well. Another important fact for this story is I’m a sitter. That’s right, I sit to wee-wee, and I’m man enough to admit it… of course, I don’t sit at a urinal. I stand to use one of those, but at home and at Alyshia’s using a toilet I like to hunker down because it’s cleaner and quieter. The final important fact I need to share is that I didn’t put a layer of toilet paper on the seat before sitting. I think that’d be rude because it’d be like saying “I don’t trust your cleaning abilities, and I think you have some nasty cootie potential.” If it was a stranger’s house, I’d probably toilet paper things to be safe, but after 8 years of dating I think I can trust my fiancé’s toilet seat. So here’s where the story gets going (pun intended); I lowered my pants (enjoy the visual) and then sat down, but for some reason it felt like I was squatting lower for the toilet than I normally do… and the seat felt unusually thin. My first thought was did they get a new seat? A new, very uncomfortably thin seat? No… it isn’t a new seat I’m feeling; I’m feeling the absence of a seat. The toilet was sans seat. I was on the rim; the very nasty, often pee splattered rim. The good news for me (trying to be positive) is I have a very large backside. If you’re thinking, “Chad, it can’t be that big you’re in good shape,” um, yes it is, and thank I am in good shape. I know my butt is big because I sat on the seat and I didn’t fall in the toilet like a normal person would. If I didn’t have a big butt I would be sitting in the toilet like a giant in a bathtub… a disgusting and tiny bathtub. I quickly let out a very loud “Oh no,” which is not the noise you want to hear, especially from the bathroom. Alyshia was very kind and asked if I was okay, which is a question you can’t call out to someone in the bathroom without some concern. Nothing good comes from that: (guy) “Oh no.” (girl) “Are you okay?” (guy) “Yeah, I won the lottery again.” After thoroughly washing the backs of my legs… emphasis on ‘thoroughly’, I came out of the bathroom and joked with the brother-in-law assuming he was the reason I bumped and grinded with a ceramic bowl waste disposal. The strange thing is it turned out that it couldn’t be his doing; he hadn’t used the toilet at their house for several weeks, so it clearly wasn’t him. We were all confused at this point. On the plus side, this meant the rim was clean since there hadn’t been a guy to shower it with pee spray; yea for me. To resolve the confusion, Alyshia offered maybe she did it. I have to say this made me concerned for my wedding night: “Is there something you should be telling me before we get married?” That’s certainly not a surprise a heterosexual man wants for his honeymoon: “Um, we’re not supposed to have the same parts… oh well, at least mine’s bigger.” Alyshia added she had a nap and maybe she was sleepwalking and lifted up the seat. This was a very creative idea, but I think it’s safe to say not the answer… and proof she made a good choice not trying to be a detective. Her mom pointed out that she always leaves the toilet cover down, which would mean that I would have had to lift it up to use the toilet; this leaves the chance I also lifted the seat up when I lifted the cover. The odds are I messed myself over. I pranked myself.
The good thing is in this situation I never yelled anyone. I was able to laugh and jokingly complain, which I was thoroughly grateful for when it was discovered that I was the one guilty of sabotaging my toilet experience. It also felt good to be able to laugh at the situation rather than beat myself up. Had this happened at another time when I was struggling with self esteem it might have been different.
This Christmas may you be able to laugh at the goof ups and mistakes you and others make instead of taking things personally. And if you have the time, try putting the toilet lid down on your toilet and tape it to the seat in hopes that someone will lift both up like I did, so they’ll sit on the nastiest toilet part they could sit on… my advice is to laugh and sometimes opportunities need to be encouraged.
Rev. Chad David, www.ChadDavid.ca, learning to love dumb people