The other day I had Youtube playing in the background and it selected this song for me: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AwgWbIOt0ko. I highly recommend checking it out, especially starting at the 2:29min mark because the joy of the band and audience amazed me. Even if I was part of a different … [Read more...]
Why Someone Will Choose Work Over Their Family?
Hi, my name is Chad, and I am a recovering workaholic: (audience... at least the nice ones) “Hi Chad.” As a workaholic, trying to relax is generally more stressful for me than working; that makes total sense. But I’m a doer. I come from a family of doers, which is fantastic... and terrible... so … [Read more...]
Dealing with Victim Mentalities (which sucks)
Here’s the question I keep being faced with the last couple weeks: Are they being the victim or playing the victim? In my book Emotional Sex: Making good relationships great, I point out that we want to be the victor and not the victim, we want to do what we can to help ourselves and not just act … [Read more...]
Let People Suffer (This isn’t as mean as it sounds)
When I was a youth pastor I ran a mission trip to Los Angeles (I knew how to pick places to serve). It was through www.csm.org, which is a wonderful organization. We spent a week serving in soup kitchens and food banks, and afterwards we celebrated by going to Disneyland (I definitely knew how to … [Read more...]
7 Tips to Help in Tough Times
Life is... something. One minute you think you have everything in control and you feel confident, and the next minute you get a phone call or accident that knocks you on you keister. As a therapist, I’m regularly meeting people who are on their butts because they’ve been knocked down... nothing … [Read more...]
Why Men Watch Porn
This past week I was asked the same question numerous times: Why do men watch porn? As a therapist it makes sense that I’d be asked this question. It’d be strange if I was a Walmart greeter... although, that’d be hilarious for lunchroom conversations: (greeter) “People keep asking me why men watch … [Read more...]
It’s Not You; It’s Him
I recently had a friend tell me that she went out with a guy a few months ago, but she wasn’t interested enough for a second date. Despite her disinterest, he continued asking her out and whether it was more his persistence or her just feeling particularly lonely, she gave it another try. On the … [Read more...]
A Communication Exercise to Help Your Relationships (& a Bonus Exercise)
Several years ago I wrote a post talking about the seven types of words that help a relationship... well, it’s changed. The good news is this is proof that I do my best to adapt and grow my ideas just as I encourage others to do. Since I did that post I’ve been using it with clients in … [Read more...]
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