This week I was confronted with a new question: What’s the difference between guilt and feeling sorry for yourself? I know guilt is more about how we hurt others while feeling sorry for ourselves is about focusing on ourselves, but where’s the line between them? Guilt is something I’ve understood … [Read more...]
The Basic Steps for Handling Conflict with Proper Communication
The other day I was talking to a friend outside of my house (yes, I have friends). My family had just returned from the park, so we were all still outside. My wife had the baby and was putting the stroller in the house, my middle child was climbing a tree (I think she was trying to make a couple … [Read more...]
The 5 Types of Communicators
Fun Fact: This is my 600th post Life was made to be simple: Work to eat and drink, eat and drink, connect with others, and rest – that’s basically it. Life is so simple there are only three primary colours, seven basic facial expressions, and even four types of chromosomes (metacentric, … [Read more...]
How to Handle Rude Behavior (The Different Kinds of Rude, Pt 2)
Last week we looked at how rude behavior is rooted in disgust: “I’m better than you in some way and you should know that.” We also noted that sometimes what appears to be rude behavior isn’t true rude behavior because it’s actually rooted in fear or distraction. Since we can’t control other … [Read more...]
“Am I Okay?” vs “Are You Okay?”
As someone who has been working with couples for a long time it’s always exciting to see something new that leaves me wondering, “How didn’t I see that before?” I should point out that working with couples, the patterns don’t vary all that much. Considering there are four communication styles and … [Read more...]
Handling a Bad Moment (Part of the communication series)
One of the great things about marriage and living with someone who is closely tied to you is it can lead to new opportunities to learn and practice tools for communication. Is that a nice way of saying you’ll have crappy days? Crappy days are never what we wake up in the morning hoping will happen: … [Read more...]
The 5 Categories of Men (Pt 2: A Common Problem for Couples)
Last week I broke down guys into five basic modes: Playful, Middle Ground, Serious, Upset, and Explosive. In general, people want to feel understood, which means misinterpreting what category a guy is in leads to us moving down to a worse category. For instance, if you’re Serious and you’re … [Read more...]
The Lost Art of Gentleness
Last week when I was at Marineland with my family for the fifth time this year (my two daughters are obsessed with the dolphins, belugas, and penguins), I was pushing my two year old in a plastic car and accidentally bumped into the person’s heals in front of me. My knee-jerk reaction was to … [Read more...]