This week I was confronted with a new question: What’s the difference between guilt and feeling sorry for yourself? I know guilt is more about how we hurt others while feeling sorry for ourselves is about focusing on ourselves, but where’s the line between them? Guilt is something I’ve understood … [Read more...]
How to Reduce Hurt (going into the holidays)
Several lessons ago I shared how I’ve had times where God felt absent, but I’ve been recently going through a season where I’ve been left questioning if God really cares about us on a personal level – Jesus died for us, but is His love shown beyond that? Because it’s been such a difficult year of … [Read more...]
Choices, Interpretations, & How to Respond
Our choices have consequences. Another way to put that is live so your future self will thank you. I was reminded of that lesson in January when I had to see the doctor. That’s a good start to a story: “A doctor? Someone was hurt... that’s awesome.” (That might just be because I’m a guy and … [Read more...]
The 4 Types of Loneliness Pt1 (8 Communication Tips)
After a particularly rough day, my wife said to me that she feels like a single parent. When I heard that, are you thinking I felt warm and squishy like I was given an emotional hug? You guessed it… wrong. As someone who preaches the importance of self control… it was borderline for me. You know … [Read more...]
The Lost Art of Gentleness
Last week when I was at Marineland with my family for the fifth time this year (my two daughters are obsessed with the dolphins, belugas, and penguins), I was pushing my two year old in a plastic car and accidentally bumped into the person’s heals in front of me. My knee-jerk reaction was to … [Read more...]
A Major Reason Our Society Terrifies Me (how to reduce others fighting)
At what point did it become mandatory to have to like everyone and accept their ways of living? Over my career, I’ve met lots of people who don’t like me and that’s fine. You’re allowed to not like me. I think you’re making a mistake because (written playfully) I think I’m great, but I’m clearly … [Read more...]
10 Tips to Reduce Fights this Holiday Season
The holiday season has a way of bringing a lot of peace, love, and joy... as well as extreme blow up fights. These “experiences” often happen before or after an event where people are smiling and happy; aw, the magic of the season. It’s strange how ups always find a down while the downs don’t … [Read more...]
The Four Most Important Apologizing Rules
I’ve recently figured out the four most important rules to apologizing (I’m sorry I didn’t figure them out sooner). It came out of the fact that apologizing is a major complaint for most couples I see as a psychotherapist. The complaints almost always come in twos. The first is the apology … [Read more...]