The other week, my wife gave a wonderful demonstration of how we can reduce conflict. What was extra impressive was it happened after a long day of watching our two girls, so her patience for people would’ve already been worn thin. Here’s what happened: During what’s arguably the best time of day … [Read more...]
The 2 Kinds of Depression & 2 Ways to Handle It
From my experience as a therapist, there are two kinds of depression: I’m really nice to others, but I’m really hard on myself I’m a helpless victim (aka “The world is against me,” “This is all my parents’ fault,” “The world owes me,” and “Life is hard, so I’m hard on others.”) Note: People in … [Read more...]
Ladies, Please Stop Doing This
There is one thing a lot of women do that drives husbands crazy. Of course, this is a mistake some guys can do as well, but from my experience, it’s more likely a female problem because women tend to have this desire to make everyone happy and, if everyone isn’t happy, it must somehow be their … [Read more...]
We Hear What We Feel
As a marriage therapist it’s amazing how some of the biggest fights I hear about start over nothing. What leads to divorce isn’t a particular issue or event. For instance, as bad as an affair is, it doesn’t mean the relationship is over. What causes the end of a relationship is when one or both … [Read more...]
The Perfect Fight
After 11 years together, my wife and I finally had the perfect fight. My apologies if you are hoping for a description of a fight with brilliant Hollywood witticisms being tossed back and forth while clothes are chucked out the window with Michael Jackson’s Heal the World being sung in the … [Read more...]
7 Ways to Increase Fighting
Following in line with the blog from a few weeks ago, 50 Ways to Ruin a Relationship, this post will give you 7 great ways to increase fighting. You may be thinking, “Why would I want to increase fighting?” That’s a good question. I’m yet to find a good answer. Typically, people fight because … [Read more...]
Breaking Down an Argument
The other night I had the joys of fighting with my fiancé. No, we didn’t need emotional Band Aids or a cover story for the bruising we caused because we’ve learned how to properly share our conflicting thoughts... but it still stinks; fighting stinks. In every fight there are two sides. This … [Read more...]