A common problem in communication is someone not sharing. From my experience, there are seven basic reasons why this happens. Punishment: Not sharing as punishment makes the person mean. I used to be bad for this as I thought not talking to show my anger was better than yelling, but it’s a … [Read more...]
4 Ways to Support Someone
One of the most common complaints I hear from people is they want to feel supported. Makes sense doesn’t it? It’s good to feel supported... but what does that mean? What’s interesting is the people most adamant that they want to feel supported (e.g. young people wanting more supportive parents or … [Read more...]
Why Guys Don’t Listen to Their Wives
As a therapist, I regularly hear women complain that their husbands don’t listen to them. Does my wife complain about this? I don’t know. That’d require me to listen to her. What’s funny is a lot of women think I’m a great listener and will even say how lucky my wife is, but then I point out if I … [Read more...]
Listening Mistakes (and announcing my new book)
In December I published my latest book, 52 Lessons for a Better Relationship, and I’m now just telling people about it (I’m a bit of a procrastinator). The book is currently available on Amazon (click on Amazon or type in "Happy Squire" in the Amazon search) and will soon be on my website, … [Read more...]
Are You Hearing Things Right?
One problem that often pops its head in couples’ therapy is someone not “hearing” what the other person is saying. The person is “listening,” but they don’t “hear” it right. Does that make sense? (See what I did there?) Sometimes we assume we know what the other person is saying without actually … [Read more...]
Tips to be a Great Listener
I was once told people on the autism spectrum (e.g. Asperger syndrome) were bad listeners because they struggle to recognize social cues and read facial expressions, but I have found that they can actually be superior at listening based on the mistakes I described last week. For instance, I … [Read more...]
I Bet Your Partner Isn’t as Good at Listening as He Thinks
While working with couples in my marriage therapy practice I’ve recently heard a number of guys claim they are very good listeners, which makes the wives burst out in laughter. It’s really great these husbands can make their partners laugh, but unfortunately, that wasn’t their goal, which means, … [Read more...]