After a long day, late at night I remembered there was a piece of cake left in the fridge. I had missed dessert earlier… a staple to every dinner… so I decided to reward myself… this is not the best way to lose weight: (dumb dieter) “I didn’t eat anything unhealthy today, so I should reward myself with dessert right before bed, the worst time of day to eat bad food.” When I grabbed the piece of cake I realized it was way too big a piece to eat in one sitting, so to be somewhat responsible I cut it in order to save half for another day. To be honest, I didn’t cut it exactly in half; I made the part I was taking bigger. I had to reward myself for not eating the whole thing… I like to reward myself with cake. After enjoying that delicious, slightly bigger than half piece of cake I looked at the little bit left. It didn’t make sense to leave it there on its own. I’m pretty sure I even heard it say, “I’m so lonely; I miss my other half. I’m lost without it.” Thus, the only loving thing for me to do was to eat that other half. After all, it had been a long day, and I should reward myself for recognizing that I needed some encouragement. It’s amazing how I can justify eating more dessert isn’t it? After I finished eating the rest of the cake it hit me… no, not guilt for eating more than I should have; I’m way too good at excuses for that. What hit me was this is how we need to overcome our fears. No, not eating cake, although it can help, but this idea of taking a big thing and making it smaller in order to have it in more manageable pieces. Together, it was too big to eat, but cut in half, I had no problem eating it all. It’s like eating Timbits versus donuts. Have you ever said to yourself I’m going to have a couple Timbits instead of a donut because I’m trying to watch my weight? Suddenly, you realize you’ve eaten 10 Timbits, which is the equivalent of two donuts; the problem is they’re so small you don’t notice how many you’ve eaten. This is how we need to face our fears. We need to take the big thing and put it into smaller pieces. This should reduce fear and help us continually move forward. In my 20s I wanted to make a couple close friends. This can be a daunting task, but I was able to break it down to several main actions:
- Be welcoming to everyone around me
- Try going to different groups and/or teams to meet people
- Be willing to help people with random things they might need help with
- Ask people for favours, which is oddly a great way to get people to like you
- Invite the people I sense an easy connection to something to further test a possible friendship
- Be patient and be careful not to force anything
By completing these actions I was able to break the giant task of making a couple close friends down to manageable tasks. After several years of doing these things I found myself starting to foster some really great friendships. It was even helpful when I didn’t receive immediate results that I could take solace in the fact that I was doing good things to help me towards my goal. Even when the ultimate goal was too much, I was able to feel a sense of accomplishment, which encouraged me to continue trying and being patient.
This week may you find that breaking big things down into manageable pieces like a big piece of cake into two smaller halves will help you reduce your anxiety and fears.
Rev Chad David, www.ChadDavid.ca, Learning to love dumb people