I recently had to visit the West 5th mental health department in Hamilton… not for me. I should be clear on that. That wouldn’t sound great if the therapist ended up there: “I have the best advice for being healthy… I never use it, but you should.” I will also be clear that I hope to never have to go there – eek. It’s like if a nursing home and prison were smushed together into one – does that sound inviting? The department is broken down into many smaller sections they name things like mountain and waterfall even though there’s no hint of nature in the facility. There isn’t even fresh air since the windows don’t open (you know, like a prison). Having smaller departments means that unlike in the movies where they show a big room full of drugged up people doing what they do, in the section I visited, there were two small hang out rooms with a smallish TV and a big lunch room. Most of the patients, however, stay in their rooms with the bolted down furniture (a very homey feel) while a few stagger around wandering the halls not knowing what to do with themselves. You can tell the difference between patients and visitors or staff because the patients typically only wear socks and have this vacant look in their eyes, slouched over stagger like boredom has sucked the souls out of them. From what I understand, there is a short arts and crafts time once a week, but that’s about it. This means you’d actually be better off in a nursing home because they typically offer more options to fill in time. Nursing homes also naturally have more going on even if it’s just paramedics or people with gurneys and a hearse (arguably not the best activities to happen around you, but at least it’s something). What’s confusing to me is it’s like the hospital is saying, “You’re here because you wanted to kill yourself, but we’re going to make you so bored you won’t have the will to try again.” Actually, what’s really confusing to me is if you try to kill yourself you get put in a prison like facility like this to prevent you from doing it, but then if you really want you can go through assisted suicide. Whatever your belief is on this (I’ll keep my opinion to myself), be consistent. The confusing message this gives is “Don’t kill yourself… unless we get to help. We don’t want to miss out on the fun.” Consistency helps rules be easier to accept and follow.
If someone is struggling with mental health it’s good to look at the four parts of the person, body, mind, heart, and soul. Are you helping your physical side? Not there. Are you helping your mental side? Not there. Are you helping your emotional side? Not there. Are you helping your spiritual side (the side our culture typically ignores)? Not there. How are you going to help people get better if nothing is changing to help them be better? People need purpose and in this part of hospital the only real purpose is making people want to get out of there: “If you don’t promise not to end your life, you’ll be stuck here where it’ll feel like your life has ended.”
Please know I’m not criticising any one person. There are some excellent people there doing their best with what they’ve been given (and some useless people who cause the others to work even harder). Like many larger institutes, it’s not the people who suck as much as it is the system. But here’s the thing, if you want to help people with a lack of reason to live, help them have a reason to live – it’s a crazy concept I know. “You want to kill yourself because your life feels like a waste? How about I make your life actually be a waste, so you’ll just get used to it and not worry about it anymore.”
To enjoy life we need purpose, to be challenged, and to have healthy social interaction. In short, we need to be fruitful. This isn’t new information. In fact, this is arguably the oldest information humanity has ever been given. According to Genesis 1:28, the first words God says to Adam and Eve is “Be fruitful and multiply.” Since the world is now full of people, “multiply” can now be interpreted as building community (aka have social interaction) while “fruitful” means do things (aka have purpose and challenge yourself). Being fruitful means having accomplishments, which is another way of saying “getting things done.” As a recovering workaholic (I relapse a lot), this is my addiction (arguably the best addiction to have if you want a happy wife). I find accomplishments can be divided into two main categories: small and independent (e.g. emptying the dishwasher) or they can be small and working toward a bigger accomplishment (e.g. graduation or publishing a book). In fact, if you have a bigger job to do, it’s better to break it down into smaller parts to feel more of a sense of accomplishment. Getting a big job done can be seen as “I got one thing done,” or “I got ten things done and achieved my goal.” I find the former exhausting and discouraging while the latter fuels people to do more.
Having a sense of accomplishment is highly connected to a to-do list because there’s a happy hit when we get to cross something off the list. It’s also good to look back at the lists once in awhile to remind us of how much we’ve gotten done. In my thankful calendar, every month I end up with a list of about 10 bigger accomplishments I had in the month as a way to remind myself that I’ve been using my time wisely and life isn’t just passing me by. This is particularly fun to go through on New Year’s to be reminded of all I did that year.
The importance of having done something with our life typically becomes very important when we start getting older. I remember the first pastor I worked for saying that when you turn 50 you start to become more concerned about what you are leaving behind (aka your legacy). I’m not 50 (thankfully), but I’m concerned about what I do because it’s been drilled in my head to use my time wisely.
Being fruitful is important because it gives us a sense of value. I’ve heard people say, “It feels like my life is a waste.” That’s an unfortunate feeling… but it could be true. It’s important to ask, “Is that a lie your brain is telling you that you need to correct or is that a true feeling and your brain’s way of saying, ‘Change something’?” Another way of putting that is “Are you contributing to your society and/or making the world a better place in some way or living selfishly?” Our brains want to be fruitful, but our culture has made comfort and relaxing seem like the best goals. Comfort and relaxing are great… after we’ve been challenged. There’s a reason that until the 80s, our culture followed the Christian rule of work six days and rest on the seventh. We need breaks, but we need breaks from work. Based on the set up of the mental hospital, the people there are only going to get worse because they’re not doing anything with their time.
I was recently told people in the mental hospital used to help at a farm. That would’ve been so much better for them. There’d be fresh air, purpose, connecting to the earth by getting their hands dirty, a reason to connect with each other, and good relaxing after because they would’ve actually worked. Losing that program was a huge loss.
As always, I recommend considering a scale:
Wasting Life (-10)——Fruitful to a Point (0)——Overly Fruitful/Workaholic (+10)
Where I have to be careful not to over work, the hospital needs to get people working (and getting staff to get off their phones and do their job). That being said, I met one patient who managed to beat the system. The one day when I was leaving, I met a middle aged lady being released. Whatever her reason for having been sent to this soul sucking place, she was doing great. Why? Because she had spent her time there connecting with others. She basically took on a mother role and by doing so she quickly found her own healing. By being a blessing, she was blessed. This proves being fruitful can be tangible you can hold or it can be more conceptual and something you can feel.
This week may you consider how you can be a healthy fruitful even if it means recognizing all that you’re already doing.
Rev Chad David, Learning to love dumb people (like me), ChadDavid.ca