Women aren’t complicated… yes I said it & I’m not being sarcastic either

I have always been told that women are complicated. The truth is, however, they’re not. Women aren’t complicated.  I’m sure some of you are thinking: “Who is this genius?” or I guess instead of “genius” you’re using a less than positive word: “Who is this (insert insult)?”  I’m hoping, however, that this idea will make more sense by the end of this article.  Will this article use stereotypes and biases? Yes.  Will it likely tick a lot of women off? Yes.  Will it be the answer to how to handle every woman? Yes.  Is at least one of the answers to these questions wrong? Yes.

The truth is people, in general, aren’t complicated. For instance, there are five senses; we all crave love in some capacity; we all have basic physical needs like the need for water, food, and sleep; and human expressions can be reduced to the basic seven.  Anyone who’s seen the show Lie to Me (an excellent show) or studied body language is well acquainted with them: happiness, anger, contempt, disgust, fear, sadness, surprise.  Thus, if people in general can have simple truths about them it would come to reason that genders must also have some basic truths.  Indulge me for a moment.

My girlfriend is a dedicated dog person and I am… well… indifferent.  I’m not indifferent to dogs, but to kinds of pets.  I love all animals. I would essentially like to have my own zoo with elephants, sea lions, otters and cuddly polar bears… those are rare to find.  For the majority of my life, however, I’ve been known as a cat person – to my girlfriend’s dismay – because living in the country my family ended up having a number of cats randomly dropped off at the side of the road and we would often take them in.  Thus, I have a certain soft spot in my heart for cats.

I like a lot of things about cats.  For instance, I like how cats will make it clear whether they want affection, will tolerate affection, or want to be left alone.  Sometimes it will be hard to know what they want, but cats will make it clear what they don’t want.  When they do want to be touched, I don’t mind how cats only want to be touched a certain way and will let me know if I did it wrong; although, I prefer when they don’t bite.  I like how cats don’t need to be trained the way dogs do and they’re good at taking care of themselves.  It might be annoying, but I can appreciate why my cats often hiss when other cats come along and take awhile to warm up to them since they pose a possible threat to my cats’ power.  I like how cats keep themselves clean and I don’t need me to remind them to bathe. I think it’s a bonus that cats are always preening and making themselves look nice and orderly.  I think it’s great that cats will also preen each other.  Dogs won’t do this; they’ll sniff each other, but that’s as close as they’ll get.  When it comes to shedding, I don’t mind having to pick off the cat hair.  I can understand that some people are repulsed by cats and don’t want to be near them, but I’m happy to be.  I can see why some men don’t like them and prefer dogs especially since some men think the bigger the better; to them a real dog is a big dog.  One of my favourite things about cats is how they will try to be discreet about going to the washroom and try to hide their natural bodily functions.  Some cats are a little more brash with this, but they generally have more discretion than dogs who almost seem proud when they go.

I’ve just been describing women… I mean cats.  Actually I mean both.  How would I summarize women? Women are like cats.  This is one of the reasons I believe women aren’t complicated.  If you want to understand how to please a woman, spend some time with a cat.  Reread what you just read but with cat replaced with woman and dog replaced with man:

I like how women will make it clear whether they want affection, will tolerate affection, or want to be left alone.  Sometimes it will be hard to know what they want, but women will make it clear what they don’t want.  When they do want to be touched I don’t mind how women only want to be touched a certain way and will let me know if I did it wrong; although, I prefer when they don’t bite.  I like how women don’t need to be trained the way men do and they’re good at taking care of themselves.  It might be annoying, but I can appreciate why women often hiss when other women come along and take awhile to warm up to them since they pose a possible threat to a woman’s power.  I like how they keep themselves clean and I don’t need me to remind them to bathe. I think it’s a bonus that women are always preening and making themselves look nice and orderly.  I think it’s great that women will preen each other… guys won’t do this; they’ll sniff each other, but that’s as close as they’ll get.  When it comes to shedding, I don’t mind having to pick off the woman’s hair.  I can understand that some people are repulsed by them and don’t want to be near them, but I’m happy to be.  I can see why some men don’t like them and prefer men especially since some men think the bigger the better; to them a real man is a big man.  One of my favourite things about women is how they will try to be discreet about going to the washroom and try to hide their natural bodily function.  Some women are a little more brash with this, but they generally have more discretion than men who almost seem proud when they go. 

See how transferable they are? Women are like cats and men are like dogs.

This week may you stop thinking that women are complicated.  May this reduce your fear and frustration so you will be able to see the underlying truth: women don’t need to have a man around, but they typically want one; we just need to know when to give them space and when to be available to comfort them.

By Rev. Chad David, www.emotionalsex.ca