One of the toughest lessons I’ve had to learn is it’s not up to me to “save” people. I don’t mean physically: (waiter) “That person is choking!” (me) “Oh well, screw’m; Not my problem.” Of course, I’m going to help someone who is in trouble, but I mean it’s not up to me to make people live or act the way I think they should. Ever have a friend make a decision where you’re thinking, “This isn’t going to end well”? And I don’t just mean something small like when a friend goes through the ‘I’m going natural; screw deodorant’ phase, but on a bigger scale like “I’ll just try that illegal drug once… maybe twice… three times… everyday isn’t so bad.” When people make bad decisions it is not up to us to save them. This idea was made very apparent last week when I was in LA on a mission’s trip. LA is interesting because about 20 000 homeless people live in a condensed area referred to as Skid Row, which is a ten minute walk from the heart of the downtown. This isn’t one of the major LA tourist attractions… which I guess is a good thing because that would be even worse if families drove down the streets like on a safari watching the homeless people: (father with family) “Look at that kids. Aren’t they cute? Remember no feeding them; we don’t want them jumping on the car and ripping off the antenna.” Skid Row can certainly be overwhelming when you see thousands of homeless people lining a street. Whether this area is a good thing or not is a highly debated topic in LA politics, but regardless of your stance, there are definite advantages to this set up. For instance, with so many homeless people in one area it is a natural spot for a number of really great mission groups to locate there. The organization who ran our mission’s trip (www.csm.org) took us there a number of times to work. The one place we helped at, LA Mission, has a phenomenal set up going on where they help both the homeless and low income families in a number of practical ways. It is so good it is often visited by celebrities like Kobe Bryant.
What blew me away is the two soup kitchens we helped at in Skid Row both have programs for homeless people to join where they get cleaned up, are given some training, and then given help to find a job. They are incredible programs and yet… and yet thousands of people aren’t signing up for this. Thousands of people are essentially choosing to be homeless rather than to accept the help they need to get off the street. Thus, the question begs: do you cry over the thousands of people on the street or do you celebrate the hundreds of people who have changed their lives around through these programs? At the same time, what right do I have to judge someone who is homeless or to say that life is better with a job and house? I prefer having these things, but I saw many homeless people who laughed with friends and who looked content. Some may argue that the homeless there are content because that’s all they know, but what right do we have to tell others how to live their life? It’s like when the Europeans came to North America and told the Natives the way they lived was wrong. In many ways the natives were the ones who were living right, and we just didn’t realize it.
What this situation points out is it’s my job to care about the people I see and to be willing to help where I can, but I can’t force them to change who they are or how they live. It’s not my job to “save” them. This was the lesson I had to learn in my eight years as a youth pastor. I was continually seeing young people make bad decisions, but besides offering guidance (when they wanted it) I had to simply watch them realize their decision was stupid on their own. Ultimately, we can’t stop stupidness; we can only do our best to make the smartest decisions possible in our own lives and to be open to laugh at the mistakes we and others make. Learning to be happy and see the positive in our own lives is a big enough challenge on its own without the worry of trying to “save” everyone else.
This week may you allow others to be stupid without taking it personally.
Rev Chad, www.ChadDavid.ca, Learning to love dumb people